April 4, 2012
Wow, I had no idea it’d been this long. I guess there is much to catch up on. I’m going to be blunt so I hope you aren’t too taken aback.
Virginia and I divorced in July of 2010. In looking back on the blog I saw a number of instances where I looked forward to seeing her again after a trip or a scout outing. When remembering the interactions once I saw her again things were very different. The killers for the situation were competition, one up-man-ship and a general feeling of how much I didn’t like myself when I was with her. The kids are doing well, as well as one could expect. The wish I still lived at home but on the other hand they can’t deny how much happier I am and in turn, how much nicer it is to be around me.
I’m engaged to a wonderful woman named Tara (the Hindu goddess of compassion). She is Jewish, though not very strict about things. It has made for some wonderful discussions and my time as a gospel doctrine teacher has been helpful as I am teaching her much about the Old Testament.
I have finally started an internet business and I have had sales! The site is www.switchempatches.com. It hasn’t ‘taken off’ yet but all signs are pointing in that direction. To be honest, I’m really excited about the opportunities with this. If you know a Boy Scout his mom will want to know about this!
I live in Colorado Springs now. A number of reasons for the move, it got me away from Denver, they have a slower pace and it’s closer to Tara and her daughter. The downside is the business sector isn’t as strong so with that in mind I’ve taken a job back in Denver for the time being. Not what I wanted to do (my commute is 90 min each way!) but as long as the money is green and the checks don’t bounce I can’t complain too much. I’m still looking for something that will keep me closer to home but everyone says it’s easier to find a job when you have one. I won’t assume to understand the logic but everyone says it so I’ll go with it, for now. ;-)
That is the update, for those who still follow this. I’ll try to be better, but no promises.
September 29, 2010
Normally I launch Pandora for music to get my day started by. Today I was listening to my Police channel. The following song came on and it had a deeper meaning than it has before. That and it got my feet tapping.
Have a great day!
September 27, 2010
I normally share this with someone so they know where I am, what I’m on and when. Now, if you’re reading this, it’s you. Thanks for giving a place to vent.
Outbound: Cincinnati, OH (CVG) to Denver, CO (DEN) on Fri, 01 Oct 2010
Departs CVG Arrives DEN Flight
8:20pm 9:23pm Delta 5363
Return: Denver, CO (DEN) to Cincinnati, OH (CVG) on Mon, 11 Oct 2010
Departs DEN Arrives CVG Flight
6:00am 10:39am Delta 5466
September 25, 2010
So if a rugby team wants people to come out and watch, they really should put addresses on their website. After 30 min of hunting and nearly 1/4 of a tank of gas I headed home. Well, I headed back. I took the long way and just wandered. I checked out a historical outdoor market that was kind of fun. Great for people watching. Then I just slowly wandered my way back to the hotel.
I talked to the kids and mom today. First time in a long time with mom and I hadn’t heard from Brigg or Colin at all this trip. I’d shot Brigg several text messages but didn’t hear back. He’s at that age though so I’m not all that hurt. It was good to talk to them but I miss them terribly. As long as I don’t think about it I’m fine. The moment I do I’m a mess. I try not to think about it.
I neglected to mention that I had a massage last night. I’ve chosen to have a membership with Massage Envy for one specific reason. My love language is touch. I don’t get that much any more, especially when I’m on the road. This fills some of those needs without any entanglements or dating. It works pretty well too. Last night a nice young lady named Jenn took care of me. She was very in tune (though I admit, I doubt I’m all that hard to read). At one point, after agreeing with a previous masseuse about what my body told her (my lower back shows that I’m bending over backward for something or some one, my shoulders show that I feel like I carry the weight of the world and my neck does not bend to hang my head no matter how dire things may seem) Jenn mentioned that my jaw told her that while I am very good at expressing myself and, for the most part don’t hold back, that I am and do often. I was very impressed. She’s right.
So now I’m off to bed. Please notice I didn’t say sleep. I can only hope for that once again. Getting my mind to quiet down is quite the feat these nights.
September 25, 2010
So, last night a couple of the guys from the office finally convinced me to ‘go out’ with them. I’d been hesitant as their idea of going out involves places I haven’t frequented since I played rugby (read bars and pubs). I figured if I indulged them they’d shut up. In the end it was a good night.
Both brought their girlfriends so the peer pressure was at a minimum. We sat in a booth to start the night and one of the girls mentioned to me “You should be sitting on the outside so you can get out and talk to someone! You really didn’t think that through.” to which I replied “Not at all. I thought it through very well.” with a knowing smile and she got it. When I mentioned that “I’d probably have better luck finding someone I’d be interested in next door (Barnes and Noble).” the girls thought I was the nicest guy ever. So, we sat outside so they could smoke (me up wind), talked, watched people get more and more drunk. It would seem my radar is nonfunctional. The gang told me there were several people ‘sending me vibes’ that I didn’t even notice. Oh well, not my environment anyway.
Today there’s a rugby game. Now that is my environment! I’m really looking forward to it.
All in all it’s nice to get out of the room for a while. This hotel starts to feel more and more like a prison each day.
September 22, 2010
The first thing out of my mouth after I killed the alarm was “Crap, it’s only Wednesday.” The past 4 days I’ve been confused when I woke up. It felt like everything was unfamiliar and I had to remind myself of where I was and why. It makes it hard to get going.
At work I have to be the voice of reason. Everyone around me has an agenda and isn’t willing to step back and see the big picture. It is getting frustrating and I’m beginning to let people know it. “One of the reasons your job is so hard is because you aren’t willing to see things from another perspective.” That doesn’t go over well. Too bad. The truth hurts but it will also set you free, right?
I’m finally looking forward to the weekend, I found a rugby game to go to. Something to get out of the hotel, be in the sun, watch a game and maybe hang out with them after wards.
I miss home. It’s nice to be able to say that again. I haven’t had ‘a home’ in some time. It may only be an apartment and still have boxes ALL over the place but it’s still my place, with my things and it feels like home, despite what it looks like or who’s there now.
10 more days.
September 18, 2010
OK, I’ve promised my children that I will not speak ill of their mother in front of them.
I spoke to Kayla tonight. Kayla is 15 and if I remember 15, the world is their oyster, all things are possible. She told me tonight that when she was interested in a local pageant and wanted to attend the informational meeting my ex said “Well Kayla, those are for beautiful people.” DOES THIS WOMAN NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE IS DOING OR SAYING TO THIS YOUNG WOMAN? HOW THE #@&& IS SHE A YOUNG WOMANS PRESIDENT?!
OK, now that I have all that off my chest (and it isn’t really but I can’t get angry about this, not yet) I need help.
How do I help Kayla? I told her:
- she is beautiful
- she has value
- mom struggles with tact
but once that kind of thing is said you don’t get it back. Is there something more that I can do?
The other issue is how do I get it through my ex’s head that she needs to put a leash on her tongue, or at least think 2 or 3 times before she opens her mouth. This kind of thing is EXACTLY why I left. She is not someone who I want to have around me. The kids don’t have much of a choice.
I am working diligently to get a job back in Denver. The idea is that once I’m established I will allow the 2 older kids to go before a judge and express to the court where they would prefer to live. At the age of 12 they have the right to make that choice.
I know, a child needs their mother and it breaks my heart just thinking of what it will do to her but my children are my priority.
So, please share with me any thoughts you may have. I’m open to most anything.